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How typical of my father to try to upstage the Pope by dying just before him. He has been lying in state (a right state) in Papmeister Manor these past few weeks as we were advised by the solicitors that the old goat cannot be buried until the details of his will are sorted out. Apparently there is some sticking point concerning his legacy of some thousands of pounds to set up an annual competition to find the most tyrannous bounder in the county with the qualifications for the prize including several deeds which are (foolishly in my opinion) regarded as illegal and archaic, such as "Baking a Peasant" and "Evicting the Poor". In a further twist, Pater's entire will is being contested by a rather dashing young homosexual called Simon. Details of which later...