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I am starting to think that the "Diana was murdered" conspiracy theorists may have a point. The reason for this turnaround in my opinion? Well, 24 hours after criticising the royal family I awake to find myself stricken with some sort of virus. I know it's a virus because my doctor told me so. In fact, his exact words were, "It's a virus. I can do nothing for you." The fact that he said this in an Italian accent added a little humour to a generally mirth-free morning. You don't go to the doctors for a while and you find they have replaced the old one with an EU import. To be fair to them, my doctors did need some new blood after two of them died within the space of a week last year. Negative publicity at its worst, I thought. Anyway, the new Italian chap seems a good egg. He's a step up from one of the other doctors at the surgery who's a sports injury specialist. He's so specialised that unless you have a sports injury he doesn't care. I would have had to tell him that I thought I'd caught the virus whilst playing rugby to get him interested. Even he is an improvement on one of the ones who died, who after listening to me list my many ailments for a full five minutes looked at me like the snivelling weakling I am and said, "You'll live, son." The upshot of all this illness is that I am unable to go to work and the real proof of my illness is that I have no appetite, which only happens when I am close to death, as I am generally noted as a first-class eater. So I am confined to the house for the evening. I intend to spend the time pricing geese and ducks online, as it is my intention to win the lottery tomorrow night and the first things I will buy will be several hundred of those fine winged fellows. And several white horses. Then I shall ride through the centre of the city driving my flocks of ducks and geese down the main thoroughfares of the business district whilst several paid accomplices, dressed in gaudy rags, run a few hundred yards in front shouting, "The ducks are coming!" I believe every man should have an ambition.
Posted by: papmeister at 17:00 |
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